SOLD for a Beer!!!

Panchtantra as a course was devised and implemented in the curriculum by Acharya Vishnu Sharma to drive common sense with morals into thick skulled royal princes. The gripping stories with nail biting twists and turns has survived the test of time and are still regarded as a great way of developing those brain cells.

My deprived childhood might not have given as much access to panchatantra as I would like. I am therefore not totally aware if the narrative below has already been fabled with animals as metaphors. Hence the disclaimer "The characters and stories are imaginary and any semblance of resemblance should be ignored. If anyone takes this personally then it will tantamount to personal vendetta against the author and thou shall be whipped with 50 lashes"

Title: The Sensitive Elephants and the gutsy Donkey

Not so loong ago in a distant corporate jungle there lived all kinds of animals the specific ones to note are A cross breed of a fox and a lion, A snake, A clever monkey, Two mighty elephants (A and B), A gutsy Donkey (the flibbertigibbet). Ever since The Lion had allowed elephant B to step into the forest there has been restlessness. Each of the king’s mantris did not appreciate Elephant B who is adamant and ego centric in nature. B had been imposing his authority where ever he can and by pushing through his smelly trunk into every corner made him extremely nefarious amidst all the animals.

It was another usual day when Elephant B summoned for his most trusted accomplice, the donkey. He was fuming over some issue and needed pair of ears to vent out his frustration. The Donkey was forced to volunteer his two big ears as usual for it presumed his existence is relative to his cooperation to B. B then started narrating the day's events which had made him so mad at the monkey. He had reasons to believe that the clever monkey is conspiring against him by playing foul with the snake and the lion about him. Snorting like a wild hog he was getting fidgety, unaware of what is to be done to silence the monkey; He knows deep down his hard skin that he is not as clever as the monkey and that he can only snort and thump his feet to make the earth shake with his weight.

He then started personal accusations at everyone and the poor donkey had very little choice but to listen and to testify his false allegiance to B. The Donkey was threatened by B that their conversation should not go beyond the den and if it reaches another set of ears it can come only through one source and it is the donkey. B threatened to banish the Donkey and the monkey from the woods with a cause and reason only B could justify.

The Donkey who is indeed a loyalist of A ran to him the very next day to warn him of a brewing storm coming towards the forest which might devour all good. An infuriated Elephant A immediately advised donkey to speak to the lion. Timid creature as he was, the donkey requested A to rest the case and left to attend to his daily chores unaware what is to come in the very near future.

Within an hour A came to donkey with a satisfactory smile on his face. Bewildered, on enquiring about the reason for his smug expression, the donkey lost his expression. A had sent a circular to the lion intimating highlights of the conversation of B and the Donkey. For Donkey that meant the 6th day prophecy!!!

Donkey was a nerve wreck for the next half hour when A walked up to him and said "I owe you a beer" with the same smug expression. Almost feeling reassured from A's smug expression that the Lion had made amends of all the bad blood, Donkey jumped to feet and very expectantly asked A "Why the beer? Did Lion get back to you with good reason?"

The usual highly composed and polished A replied "No, I realized that I might have put you in a difficult position. So, the beer!"

Donkey thus was SOLD for a beer!!!

Moral of the Story: Elephants are sensitive, donkeys are stupid, and monkeys are clever. Deduce your own conclusion.

Chech!

Her juvenile smile has had me floored from the day I first met her. "Awwwww how cuuuute!!!!" is a cliché exclamation which is forced out of me every time she is just being herself.

A state level Badminton player no less, she is amusingly sloppy at times, Extremely witty, has Emotional quotient touching hyperventilation levels, very genuine, has a "deer caught in floodlight" expression every time you call out for her, unsure of herself and constantly pondering on a thought of her existence in the current role, She manages to surprise you at all times with her candid remarks which include shallow remarks about herself (low self esteem issues). She has been pampered by her family all her life and now by her husband and worse, even by her son. I believe it is hard not to pamper her and without any doubts she is my most adorable acquaintances of recent times. She is Teena Cherian!

I have no clue since when and how we started being really good friends. She calls me her lil brother and a very typical of me being sucker for the term "brother", i call her "chech" (slightly modulated version for Chechi);

Distress!

Usual conundrum of life laughs at me almost everyday. The professional and personal life might at times seem to weigh you down. Your daylight seems to be stolen and you look for sunshine in almost everything.

One such day when the work has asked more questions than I can answer, I was trudging along the food court. Repressed by life I was carefully choosing dishes which will bring sunshine into my sticky afternoon. The meal was indeed a happy meal and it was time to go. I was rushing past the crown in the food court shouldering my way out. That's when I happened to see an old lady sitting alone on a chair facing the passing crowd. She had immense emotional energy and i could barely ignore the expression looming over her face.

The lady looked in early 50's; She had thick wrinkles and a constant frowned expression with no hint of a smile. She appears to have frozen her lips downwards and that she had made no efforts to extend a smile in ages. Quivering with her hands between her legs She did not want to look at the crowd with a fear that someone might just look into her eys and recognise her. She was looking at the floor when surrounded by 100's of people. It has to be something which was bothering her at that moment. She does not feel one in that environment she appeared to break free at any given opportunity.

I seldom feel so sympathatic towards people but this lady has moved my heart. It was a brief encounter and if measured it might have been less than 5 seconds. However, her face is now embossed in my memory. The happy meal however didnt last beyond 2 minutes as the lady's grief proved contageous. Watever might be the reason i pray to God for her to be free from that distress!

A superhero is born - "SharkMan"

Last week it was another usual lazy saturday when me and my fren Adarsh have been to Jumeirah beach. Not aware of how eventful this regular beach trip would turn out to be, Boney (other partner in crime) had sucked in to his hangover theory. But, I should declare that i am most privileged to witness and unravel the seemingly normal day into an day when a Sperhero was born.

It was that part of time when my antics in the water was more an act of amusement to people around. I was bereaved of reaching the sea bed which was 4 ft below my waist. With a never give up attitude I was trying harder by plunging into the water giving an impression that I am walking on my hands with my legs sprouting above water.

Unlike me, Adarsh was peacefuly floating like a tube filled with air in water sans any motion. That very moment his powerful ears have picked up a distress signal from almost the other end of the beach. The alarm was raised by women who were playing water volleyball had just lost their Ball (no pun intended).

The growing spite in his eyes over last many visits to beach whenever he saw a couple on the beach was only due to the company he had to be with on every beach visit "two male frens". Now, the opportunity was there to impress the damsels in distress and he immediately transcends normalcy ---- behold the "SharkMan" rises. Not aware of his new super powers he asks his much trusted accomplice, me, for a suggestion. I questioned logic the answer was Save Ball = Get Women!!! My myopic vision was inclonclusive as to the quality of outcome but i thought it was worth a try and nodded in agreement.

Almost immediately The Sharkman swung into action "swim swim awayyyy!!!" he yelled and motored against the dead sea to reach the ball. The villian in the gripping drama was the wind, it was pushing the ball further away. He fought the wind shoulder and arm together. The women saw a ray of hope when they saw sharkman trying to save their ball (again, no pun). They started squealing on top thier lungs "My Hero! My Hero!". Inspired by the new found admiration club the sharkman challenged the wind and altered his course to the direction the ball was lured. His powerful arms were fighting with the sea pushing him forward ever closer to the ball. The wind however proved a tough competitor for our great sharkman who had to eventually resign. He could not save the ball from drifting out of reach. With little disappointment he came back ashore.

The Sharkman differs in only two things when compared to other superheroes:

1) Costume - Half Naked v/s Fully clad + cape as bonus

2) Mission - Faiiled to Rescue v/s Always rescue

But there one common thing "ACT OF BRAVERY". Swim Swim Awayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

Unassuming surrender!!!

All my life my acquaintances with the opposite sex have been vivid when it comes to emotional entourage. Incredulous enough that every new relationship has helped me discover a new face of a "WOMAN". Women as a package to me has helped me grow wiser.

The journey lasted years, months, days and still the magnanimity of the enigma that surrounds them is beyond my comprehension. The wisdom i have amassed over the years has indulged me to be more pragmatic when i approach the attractive species. Pragmatism by definition to me is "Nah! in the end they will eventually walk away". I know i sound very stereotypical and all the above is a cliche but having known all this i still have discovered a new face recently and i am amused!!!Why are they such a complex equation???

I started to dislike them 3 yrs back and I restrained myself to platonic relationships lest i turn into a hermit. Unfortunately, one such relationship did stop being passive. I committed the crime again!!!! I am fatally attracted to one of them and now i am emotionally attached. My EQ levels put the desolate bahus of early bollywood to shame and thus even an iota of emotional commitment would be suicidal for me.

There is no happily ever after yet in my life and the new twist in the tale is a loooong (undefined) wait!!! How much i would like to say "I love you Akku"!!! (Sigh) I surrender !!!